Why I Broke Things Off - And Maybe You Should, Too
By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.
How do you know when it’s time to end things?
How can you know if you’re doing the right thing?
At the right time?
What will the consequences be?
When you’ve been with someone for years, you feel comfortable. Even if the relationship doesn’t feel quite right, or isn’t what you really want.
I’ve ended a lot of relationships, but this one was tough.
I broke up with my old website. Sure, I took my domain name, but I left the old platform, website, and even 3 years worth of blog posts.
It’s scary being out here all alone with my new site. I’ve had to start over. I can’t refer back to old articles.
I know - you want to hear about leaving a REAL relationship. I got you - my One-Derful tips will apply to your situation!
I’ve always prided myself on being a “make it work” kinda gal.
I once kept a toaster oven that no longer toasted. I figured the oven worked fine, and I had a toaster, so no prob. But, there was a prob: I kept the toaster oven on my countertop, and every time I wanted to toast, I had to drag out the toaster. And, toaster ovens are what….$20?
Sometimes things just aren’t what you want, but you keep thinking you can get by. You think you can make a meal out of those crumbs. You think nobody’s perfect, so if he drinks too much, or is “between jobs,” or just can’t toast a piece of bread…you should be more accepting.
Your friends tell you you’re still single because you’re too picky, so you keep limping along with your toaster oven that doesn’t toast, your boyfriend who doesn’t work, or your website that doesn’t do what you want it to do.
Here’s the deal: until I threw out the old toaster oven, I didn’t go get a new one. You have to get rid of the old thing to make space for the new one.
I need things (and people) in my life that are low-stress. I mean, if I want something complicated, I’ll take a calculus class.
When something (like a website or a relationship) is hard to work with and you’re exhausted after every interaction, it’s time to go.
When every conversation is a never-ending round-and-round about what’s wrong (which is normally what YOU’RE doing wrong - ever noticed?), you’ve entered “complicated.”
True, all relationships have ups and downs, and times can be tough.
But relationships shouldn’t be more work than fun. That’s called a job.
If you want your brain in knots, take a math class. Or - I have a website you can code.
Sometimes a relationship helps you grow, until you grow right on out of the relationship.
We’ve heard relationships last for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
Sometimes the relationship was meant to get you to a new place and then you’re supposed to let go and move on.
Unlike that t-shirt from high school that you can’t get rid of, you probably don’t keep most of your clothes for years and years.
“But people aren’t sweaters!” True. But relationships can be like beautiful shoes in the wrong size: they look great and you thought you could do it, but the pain is just unbearable.
So, here we are - on my new website with my new blog.
I’ll show up every Friday and do my best to help you learn how to be happy while you’re single. If you’re like me, and you’ve struggled with singleness (umm…..because you really want to be in a relationship), this may be the place for you.
I figured out how to be truly happy and peaceful while single, even though I really don’t like being single.
I call that the One-Derful Life - happy even when you don’t have what you want.
I hope your Mr. Right shows up, but whether or not he ever does, let’s get you feeling good about your life right now.
Before I forget - if you need some help getting over a broken heart, check out my ABC's of healing. You'll be on your way to a One-Derful Life!
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