They Probably Did the Best They Could

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

Most of us can look back on something our parents did - or didn’t - do and wish it had been different.

My mom confided to me recently that watching my brother and his wife raise their two children is very different from the way she and my dad raised us.  

“We just didn’t know what you know now,” she said.  “We followed the most current advice and the best practices at the time, but now there’s so much more knowledge and information I wish we’d had.”

It’s true.  Forty years later, people raise their children differently than many of us were raised.

Maybe you don’t have any issues about how you were raised - that’s great.  This may not be for you, or you may be able to apply it to another situation in your life.

I’ve had a number of men complain about women’s baggage - it’s the bitterness and the drama they are lugging around from their past.  It’s not that they have children or an ex-husband, it’s the weighed-dow...

What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

Part of life is dealing with the disappointment we feel when things don’t go our way.

Maybe the promotion we’d hoped for went to someone else.  Or we never heard back from that cute guy after 3 dates.  Or you made an offer on a house and it was rejected.

Even though we know things aren’t always going to turn out how we want them to, sometimes disappointment is harder to get over than we expect.  We hash and rehash it over in our minds, hoping to figure out where things went “wrong.”  

If you’ve ever had disappointment grow and take on a life of its own, you understand how important it is to keep your perspective so that you don’t slide down into an emotional pit of despair.

Here are some ways to keep the disappointment contained so that you can move on:

1. “This is what is supposed to be happening.”

Marie Forleo suggests saying, “And this is exactly what I wanted!” anytime something disappointing happens....

They Probably Did the Best They Could

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

Most of us can look back on something our parents did - or didn’t - do and wish it had been different.

My mom confided to me recently that watching my brother and his wife raise their two children is very different from the way she and my dad raised us.  

“We just didn’t know what you know now,” she said.  “We followed the most current advice and the best practices at the time, but now there’s so much more knowledge and information I wish we’d had.”

It’s true.  Forty years later, people raise their children differently than many of us were raised.

Maybe you don’t have any issues about how you were raised - that’s great.  This may not be for you, or you may be able to apply it to another situation in your life.

I’ve had a number of men complain about women’s baggage - it’s the bitterness and the drama they are lugging around from their past.  It’s not that they have children or an ex-husband, it’s the weighed-dow...

Which Role Are You Playing?

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

As women, we frequently like the fairy tales where the princess is rescued by Prince Charming.  While it’s fashionable to bash these damsel-in-distress stories, there is some biological basis to them.  As women, we want community and connection, and we want a man to provide for us.

In many ways, our culture supports us in identifying ourselves as victims.  While it’s out-of-vogue to use the word “victim,” it’s very much “in” to talk about your past trauma, your current drama, and how you were messed up by your dad or mama.

But, who are you rooting for in an action movie?  The hero or the victim?  The hero, of course!  

“Wonder Woman” was a blockbuster hit in 2017.  Nobody’s waiting for “‘Why Me?’ Woman” to come out!

If you have suffered a major trauma, then it’s time to deal with that.  And it’s unlikely that you can process it and heal without professional help.  Get a therapist, get a support group, get a coach - whateve...

And How to Make Sure They’re Helping You!

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

My greatest heartbreak occurred when the man I’d been dating for a year told me he wasn’t ready for marriage.  I’d met him when he was separated and finalizing his divorce - a scenario that made me nervous, but he seemed like he had completed his emotional business with that failed marriage.  When he told me he didn’t know what he wanted, I said I needed a break.  I figured some time apart would have him ready to get engaged. 

It worked: six months later he was engaged to another woman.  They married shortly thereafter.

I immediately jumped back into online dating.  I met a schoolteacher who was marriage-minded and excited about me.  But something felt “off.”  I uncovered his recent - and disturbing - criminal record, so I ended the relationship.  He proceeded to stalk, harass, and terrify me for months.

Between the heartbreak and the fear, I decided to stop dating.  

Recently, I wrote in my journal that if ...