Relax - That’s Good News!

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

There’s a line in Elizabeth, starring Cate Blanchett, where one of Queen Elizabeth’s advisors tell her, “Men want to touch the Divine.”  He was saying that men want someone to inspire them.  Someone they can fight for and impress and please.

I think we all want that, actually.  Who among us doesn’t want a hero?  Don’t we all want someone we can look up to, believe in, follow?

In case you’re worried because you feel like you are the absolute opposite of a goddess, I have good news for you.  Men generally see women as goddesses.  They see us as soft, beautiful, mysterious creatures who are very different from them.  They know we’re not perfect, but they want us anyway.

While it’s true that there are men who hate women, the majority of men are intrigued by women.  That is, until we discourage them or destroy their admiration of us.

Men like it when women are happy.

You’ve heard the saying, “Happy wife, happy life.”  Or, “If...

Be the director, not the starving artist!

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

A popular technique used by PUA’s (pick up artists, if you’re not familiar with the term) is to “neg” women.  This is where they give you a backhanded compliment (“You’re pretty, for a redhead.”) or they express “concerns” about dating you.  (“I’ve heard you’re a Dragon Lady and I don’t want to get hurt.”) 

These tactics are designed to get a woman to work hard to gain the guy’s approval or to show him she’s not what he’s accusing her of.  

One guy told me he was concerned about us dating because I have a Master’s degree and he “mopped floors in college.”  (By the way, like most college students, I worked a variety of low-paying, menial jobs, too!). This caused me to launch into sales mode to convince him we had a lot in common.

Another time, he said he didn’t know if I would want to hang out with him and his friends because I don’t drink.  Again, this caused me to launch into how I have many friends who drink...

You're the Prize -  Start Acting Like It!

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

I recently heard Steve Harvey tell a woman, “Quit acting like he’s the prize!  YOU’RE the prize!”

She was trying to figure out how to get this man to want her, and Steve said, “Ladies - y’all need to quit acting like men are the prize.  YOU are the prize!”

That really hit me.

In this demographic, there are more single, professional women than single, professional men. 

Women all over the country complain about the dearth of good men. In this setting, it’s easy for women to get into the mindset that we need to “find a good man.”  We say our girlfriend is “lucky she found such a great guy.” 

We’re willing to negotiate and settle for less than we truly want because we’re afraid something better may never come along.

We put up with men who are disrespectful; men who won’t commit; men who don’t call when they say they will; men who cancel dates or stand us up; men who won’t plan dates; men who drink too much, ca...

Learn to Receive!

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

One of the mistakes I’ve made in past dating relationships has been giving too much. 

Marianne Williamson says, quoting A Course in Miracles, “Only what you are not giving can be lacking in any situation.”

I took that to mean that if I wanted a man to compliment me, I should compliment him.  If I wanted a man to be generous with me, I should be generous with him.  If I wanted a man to feel cared for, I should do things for him to make his life easier.

This was a complete misunderstanding of what Ms. Williamson was saying.

While it’s true that women are nurturers, in a male-female relationship, it’s the man who gives.  Think about sex: the man “gives,” and the woman “receives.”

The same is true outside the bedroom.

When women initiate the giving, or give more than the man gives, that is masculine behavior. 

Dr. Pat Allen says you can’t have 2 feminine energies or 2 masculine energies in a relationship.  Even in gay relationships, you...