5 Ways to Feel More Merry

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

Once again, it’s that “most wonderful time of the year.” Unless you typically dread the holidays.  I’m not a Scrooge, but I normally don’t enjoy the holiday season; in fact, my favorite day is December 26 because on that day I have survived another month of more holly and less jolly.

This year, I want to employ some of the tips I’ve learned over the past few Christmas seasons in order to tip the scales more toward “jolly.”  If you also struggle with the ups and downs of the end of the year, read on:

First, manage your expectations.  The media encourages us to try to recapture that “magical” feeling we had during the holidays when we were children; and, luckily, they will sell us lots of products to help us feel that way! 

However, children don’t have the same experience of the holidays that adults do.  They don’t worry about money spent on travel and gifts; they don’t rush around with shopping and parties and errands; they don...

How to Tell if You're a Giver or a Manipulator

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

Well, it’s almost Thanksgiving again!  We hear a lot in November about being grateful – and that’s important.  But, the second part of the word is “giving.”

As singles, we bemoan the fact that we “have so much to give,” only nobody to give to. 

However, I find many times that we aren’t so interested in giving freely – we are more interested in giving to get. 

The relationship is less of an offering plate and more like an emotional vending machine.  I give A, B, and C, and I get back X, Y, and Z.  

I give my time, energy, and attention, and I get back love, security, and hope for a future.  But, when we’re giving to get, we’re not really giving…we’re manipulating.  Ouch.

If you’ve ever found yourself recounting all you’ve done for someone, you are keeping score.  If you give a gift and then get offended because the receiver didn’t write you a thank-you note, you’re not giving out of love. 

If you are beh...

How to Tell if You're a Giver or a Manipulator

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

Well, it’s almost Thanksgiving again!  We hear a lot in November about being grateful – and that’s important.  But, the second part of the word is “giving.”

As singles, we bemoan the fact that we “have so much to give,” only nobody to give to. 

However, I find many times that we aren’t so interested in giving freely – we are more interested in giving to get. 

The relationship is less of an offering plate and more like an emotional vending machine.  I give A, B, and C, and I get back X, Y, and Z.  

I give my time, energy, and attention, and I get back love, security, and hope for a future.  But, when we’re giving to get, we’re not really giving…we’re manipulating.  Ouch.

If you’ve ever found yourself recounting all you’ve done for someone, you are keeping score.  If you give a gift and then get offended because the receiver didn’t write you a thank-you note, you’re not giving out of love. 

If you ar...

Don't Waste This Time in Your Life

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

I’m writing this after having spent the weekend sick.  Confined to my couch with a box of tissues and lacking the energy to do anything but whimper, I spent three days watching my to-do list grow longer and more intimidating.

One of the things I hate about being sick is that I enjoy being productive.  I get a lot of pleasure and purpose from checking things off my list of tasks and having results to show for my time.  Because I lacked the ability to do much of anything, I was becoming anxious about the amount of work that I knew I would need to catch up on once I felt better.

Knowing I was facing several days of being down, I decided that I didn’t want to waste this crisis.  That’s not an original thought: I heard “don’t waste a crisis” somewhere.  I also remembered the words of one of my favorite authors and teachers, Iyanla Vanzant, who, when facing tough times, tells herself and others, “I can hardly wait to see th...