The Perks of Being Single During the Holidays

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

When you're single, it's natural to look at your married girlfriends and feel jealous.  The advertising we see depicts romance and warm family gatherings.  When you are alone, or without children, it's easy to idealize what the holidays must be like for couples and families.

But, what we imagine life to be like for our married gal pals usually doesn't reflect reality.

In fact, here are some reasons why your married girlfriends are actually jealous of YOU during the holidays:

1. You don’t have to go to stupid office parties.

One of my married girlfriends goes with her husband to multiple Christmas parties every year.  He’s a manager at a very large company, and he is expected to attend several soirees. 

She hates going.  She doesn’t know the folks - they’re his coworkers - and between running their two kids around, working full time, and trying to get ready for the holidays, she’s beat! 

She would pref...

5 Things that Are One-Derful about Singleness During the Holidays

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

During the holidays, it’s tempting to focus on feeling left out. 

Sometimes I feel like things would be easier and more fun if I had a husband and a family.  But, when you add people into your life, you have to include their wishes for the holidays. 

When you’re single, you can just eat a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving if you want to. 

If you have kids, you have more pressure to create traditions for them. 

And, if you have a husband, you may have to host his family and try to make his mom’s famous stuffing (which she will then criticize you for). 

And just because you have a husband doesn’t mean he’s going to merrily help you decorate.  He may hang one string of lights and declare he’s finished decorating, leaving you to trim the tree while he and the boys hit the golf course.

Here are some of the One-Derful perks of being single during the holidays:

1. No "command performances.”...

The Single Girl’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

I’m not a big fan of the holidays for a lot of reasons. 

For many years I felt the holidays were for couples and families with children and that singles like me were sort of like the Misfit Toys. 

If you have ever felt alone, lonely, let down, forgotten, or disappointed in your singleness during the holidays, this is for you.

Because this is a time of gift giving, I had this wish in my heart that God would look favorably upon me and give me my perfect soul mate.  I tithed, I served, I read my Bible every morning.  I prayed for others, I went to Bible study and prayer meeting.  I celebrated with friends who got engaged and married, and I kept believing it would be my turn eventually.

Here’s the truth: there is no magic formula to unlock God’s timing or His plan for your life.  Being single isn’t punishment for not doing enough for God.

Your obedience to God will not necessarily give you what you wan...

5 Ways to Feel More Merry

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

Once again, it’s that “most wonderful time of the year.” Unless you typically dread the holidays.  I’m not a Scrooge, but I normally don’t enjoy the holiday season; in fact, my favorite day is December 26 because on that day I have survived another month of more holly and less jolly.

This year, I want to employ some of the tips I’ve learned over the past few Christmas seasons in order to tip the scales more toward “jolly.”  If you also struggle with the ups and downs of the end of the year, read on:

First, manage your expectations.  The media encourages us to try to recapture that “magical” feeling we had during the holidays when we were children; and, luckily, they will sell us lots of products to help us feel that way! 

However, children don’t have the same experience of the holidays that adults do.  They don’t worry about money spent on travel and gifts; they don’t rush around with shopping and parties and errands; they don...

How to Tell if You're a Giver or a Manipulator

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

Well, it’s almost Thanksgiving again!  We hear a lot in November about being grateful – and that’s important.  But, the second part of the word is “giving.”

As singles, we bemoan the fact that we “have so much to give,” only nobody to give to. 

However, I find many times that we aren’t so interested in giving freely – we are more interested in giving to get. 

The relationship is less of an offering plate and more like an emotional vending machine.  I give A, B, and C, and I get back X, Y, and Z.  

I give my time, energy, and attention, and I get back love, security, and hope for a future.  But, when we’re giving to get, we’re not really giving…we’re manipulating.  Ouch.

If you’ve ever found yourself recounting all you’ve done for someone, you are keeping score.  If you give a gift and then get offended because the receiver didn’t write you a thank-you note, you’re not giving out of love. 

If you are beh...

How to Tell if You're a Giver or a Manipulator

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

Well, it’s almost Thanksgiving again!  We hear a lot in November about being grateful – and that’s important.  But, the second part of the word is “giving.”

As singles, we bemoan the fact that we “have so much to give,” only nobody to give to. 

However, I find many times that we aren’t so interested in giving freely – we are more interested in giving to get. 

The relationship is less of an offering plate and more like an emotional vending machine.  I give A, B, and C, and I get back X, Y, and Z.  

I give my time, energy, and attention, and I get back love, security, and hope for a future.  But, when we’re giving to get, we’re not really giving…we’re manipulating.  Ouch.

If you’ve ever found yourself recounting all you’ve done for someone, you are keeping score.  If you give a gift and then get offended because the receiver didn’t write you a thank-you note, you’re not giving out of love. 

If you ar...

Don't Waste This Time in Your Life

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

I’m writing this after having spent the weekend sick.  Confined to my couch with a box of tissues and lacking the energy to do anything but whimper, I spent three days watching my to-do list grow longer and more intimidating.

One of the things I hate about being sick is that I enjoy being productive.  I get a lot of pleasure and purpose from checking things off my list of tasks and having results to show for my time.  Because I lacked the ability to do much of anything, I was becoming anxious about the amount of work that I knew I would need to catch up on once I felt better.

Knowing I was facing several days of being down, I decided that I didn’t want to waste this crisis.  That’s not an original thought: I heard “don’t waste a crisis” somewhere.  I also remembered the words of one of my favorite authors and teachers, Iyanla Vanzant, who, when facing tough times, tells herself and others, “I can hardly wait to see th...