NOW Is the Time!
By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.
Many of us single ladies want to find our Boaz. Our Prince Charming. Our Mr. Right.
But, are YOU a Good Thing? Are you His Fairy Princess? Are you Ms. Right?
We all think we are that Good Thing, but you’re NOT if you are a mess, honey!
I’ve gone on dates with men who turned out to be between jobs, recently unemployed, in debt, recently separated, and a host of other dramas. I wanted to say, “Get Your S2G (get your s**t together!) and THEN look for a woman!”
While men don’t evaluate women on the same grounds that women use to evaluate men, men do want someone who has her S2G.
You don’t need to earn his level of income. You don’t necessarily need to own your own home. You don’t need to be perfect.
But you do need to be a Good Thing. Yes, men love to fix things, but a healthy man is looking for a partner, not a project.
Here are some areas where you need to have your S2G:
Your home. Whether you rent or own, are you taking care of your environment? Is your home tidy and clean?
One of the areas that is important to men is “domestic support.” If you can’t run a household, that’s a problem. If you don’t take care of your small apartment, why should he buy you a huge mansion? If you have years worth of clutter, how will you make room for what you buy together? You say, “I’ll clean everything out when I move into our big house.” Why wait? Do it now - while you’re single!
Is your vehicle clean? Do you maintain it? Why should he buy you a luxury car when you don’t even take care of the one YOU bought?
You don’t have to own the most expensive things, but take care of what you do have. This demonstrates responsibility and that you can be trusted to care for what he provides.
Your finances. Are you in debt? If so, do you have a plan for paying it off and are you following that plan? Do you have your retirement funded? Do you have a savings account? Do you live within or beyond your means? Are your taxes current and fully paid?
A good man won’t want you to out-earn him, but he probably doesn’t want a financial disaster, either! Don’t expect him to clean up YOUR mess!
Your body. Are you in good health? Do you get your regular screenings and exams? Do you know your cholesterol and blood pressure numbers? Do you eat healthy food, drink clean water, get appropriate exercise every day? Are you managing your stress?
Just as women value resources in men, men value youth and beauty in women.
We can rail against that, but it’s an evolutionary fact. You don’t have to look like a 25-year old model. But are you fit and healthy?
I’ve had more than one 50-year old man tell me they are dismayed that the women their age “look like they’ve already lived their best years and have given up and let themselves go.” We can say a man should love us for our charming personalities, but that isn’t what will attract him. It’ll keep him around, but he’ll never be interested in your personality if he’s not physically attracted to you.
Having your S2G isn’t only about looking good to a man.
It’s about having confidence in your life and in your ability to bring something good to the table.
Many times on dates, I’ve had men ask me, “What are you bringing to the table in a relationship?” They never want to hear we are bringing clutter, debt, and poor health.
When you have your S2G you can enjoy your life. You feel confident because you are already secure. You’re not looking for a man to save you, you want a man to share life with you.
Men want to have fun! You can’t have fun in life when you’re overwhelmed with clutter, anxious about money, and feeling bad physically.
A One-Derful Life is rooted in a deep sense of peace. You can increase your peace by getting your S2G.
Then you’ll be that Good Thing your Boaz is looking for!
Question: Do YOU have your S2G?
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