Be Interesting

What Are You Passionate About?

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

Most people can name very few Supreme Court justices, yet they can name all of the Kardashians (and their exes).

I believe we’re living in an “entertainment” culture - we want to be stimulated and we’re constantly looking for the latest info, trending topics, and hot gossip.

 I’ve heard my friends say they fear men will find them “boring,” but I say that what makes you interesting is having interests!

While a man may not share your passion for knitting or your joy over your vintage Tupperware collection, most men aren’t worried about the object of your passion - they are intrigued by the fact that you’re passionate about SOMETHING!

When I say, “passionate,” don’t mean sexually (although who doesn’t love that?).  I mean that state when you’re in the zone, your face lights up, and you are excited about something.  Maybe it’s yoga, maybe it’s champion-level Tiddly WInks, maybe it’s making your own soap.

Why do men love a woman who is interested in something?

First, it means you won’t be interested ONLY in him.  If you have interests and things you love, you won’t give them up for a guy.  That takes the pressure off of him so he can do things he’s passionate about.  Worried he won’t want to enter that Scrabble tournament with you?  He’ll think it’s a good thing because he won’t be responsible for entertaining you 24/7.  You don’t have to do everything together.

I dated a man once who was really into photography.  He told me he was planning to sell all of his equipment since, “You’re not into photography, so I’m going to give it up.” 

I cannot even express how panicked that made me feel.  I wanted him to stay with his hobby because then I could go do MY stuff!  No, I don’t care about photography.  I probably couldn’t tell an f-stop from a short stop.  But I did know that eventually he would resent me and I would hear how he “gave up” his passion for my sake.  Too. Much. Pressure.

Second, having something you’re interested in gives him a glimpse into your personality.  Men like happy women and who isn’t happy when she’s talking about things that interest her?  You become multi-dimensional and that’s attractive.  Men don’t want a flat, boring woman who doesn’t have anything to offer other than the latest from the Real Housewives or what the kids are eating.

Granted, you may want to cultivate interests outside of celebrity gossip and shoes.

I’ve been into dollhouses and miniatures (the furniture that goes in the dollhouse) since I was a little girl.  I don’t expect a man to “get it,” but I know they enjoy hearing me talk about how much fun I’m having renovating the dollhouse my Dad and I built (okay, my Dad built) when I was 10.

Third, when you’re passionate about something, you have an opinion that you will hold to.  This is a form of confidence.  If you’re passionate about traveling, you won’t settle for sitting on the couch all the time.  

My passion for yoga means I’m not giving up my yoga class because some guy wants me to.  Men respect women who don’t throw away their priorities just because “he” thinks you should!

Part of living a One-Derful Life is being truly happy, and your own interests and passions are what help you be happy in your life.

Find SOMETHING (other than Netflix and Instagram) that excites you.  Maybe it’s cooking or learning about wine.  Maybe it’s collecting belt buckles from every state in the U.S.  Maybe it’s getting involved in local, state, or national politics.

Who knows - you may meet Mr. Right while you’re pursuing your passion.  If you don’t, it’s okay because you’ll be having so much fun you won’t be worried about it.  That “not worried about it,” fun vibe is something men find super attractive!

If you’re suffering with a broken heart, it can be nearly impossible to have fun.  If that’s you, check out our ABC’s of Healing - we’ll get you over the heartbreak so you can start living that interesting life that you’ll enjoy.

Question: what are you passionate about?