Single During the Holidays


5 Things that Are One-Derful about Singleness During the Holidays

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

During the holidays, it’s tempting to focus on feeling left out. 

Sometimes I feel like things would be easier and more fun if I had a husband and a family.  But, when you add people into your life, you have to include their wishes for the holidays. 

When you’re single, you can just eat a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving if you want to. 

If you have kids, you have more pressure to create traditions for them. 

And, if you have a husband, you may have to host his family and try to make his mom’s famous stuffing (which she will then criticize you for). 

And just because you have a husband doesn’t mean he’s going to merrily help you decorate.  He may hang one string of lights and declare he’s finished decorating, leaving you to trim the tree while he and the boys hit the golf course.

Here are some of the One-Derful perks of being single during the holidays:

1. No "command performances.”

When you’re part of a couple, you frequently have to go to his parties and events as his plus one. 

That’s great if you enjoy those festivities, but sometimes you’re tired or you don’t like his friends or colleagues or you just don’t feel like going to another party. 

When you’re single, you won’t feel pressured to host events for his work or family.  You also don’t have to travel to see his family or friends.  Basically, you have a lot more freedom!   

2. No crappy gifts.

Whenever I was dating someone at the holidays, I used to have holi-anxiety.  Were we exchanging gifts?  What should I get him?  What if he gave me something terrible? 

Like the man I was in love with who gave me a box of teabags from Starbucks.  Or the guy who gave me a blanket. 

Many times, I would buy a gift for a man and wrap it, but keep it hidden until he initiated a gift exchange. 

Then there were the men I would date who would never acknowledge the holiday, which was weird. 

Or the men who would go way overboard and give extravagant gifts, only to call me a gold-digger when I didn’t return their feelings later on. 

3. You can spend whatever you want.

When you’re single, you don’t have to clear your budget with another person.  If you want to spend money on yourself, you can.  You don’t have to hide gifts, shopping bags, or credit card statements.  If you want to generously tip your housekeeper, you are free to do that.  Your budget is your business!

4. You can decorate however you want.

One of my single girlfriends has two Christmas trees: one in the living room, and one in her bedroom.  The bedroom tree stays up all year.  Why?  She likes it. 

If you want your Christmas theme to be all pink and sparkly, fine.  Want to have a Star Wars Christmas with a Death Star atop your Yoda tree?  Great, and may the Force be with you! 

You don’t have to use someone else’s decorations or be sensitive to their traditions. 

In fact, if you don’t even want to decorate at all, that’s fine, too! 

No arguments over whether to get a real tree or an artificial one; no conflicting opinions on white lights versus colored lights; no complaints over how early you start decorating or how long to leave the decor up.

5. You can travel.

If you want to.  When you’re single, you can travel if you want, where you want, and how you want. 

You’re not expected to be at the in-laws’ house, which involves 4 flights and a 3-hour drive. 

One Thanksgiving, I went to a swanky resort in Cancun - no dishes, no cooking, no drama.  You can go visit family and friends, or not.  You can stay in a hotel, a bed-and-breakfast, or with them.  You can fly or drive or take a train or a bus.

The overarching theme here: you have freedom. 

One of my single girlfriends stays home, alone, every Thanksgiving.  This used to concern me and I would practically beg her to come to my house and join my dinner party.  She would decline and tell me “maybe for dessert.”  Then, she would inevitably cancel. 

I would be so distressed that she was alone, but she told me she really loves having a day all to herself to just rest.  She chooses to spend the day alone because that is what she enjoys as her Thanksgiving tradition. 

If you’ve ever spent the day cooking, cleaning, and slaving away while your guests enjoy the food, watch TV, and don’t help out, you can understand where she’s coming from.  At the end of the Thanksgiving weekend, I’d be exhausted from entertaining and she’d be well-rested and relaxed.

There are pros and cons to every situation in life.  You’ll be happier if you focus on the benefits of being single.

That can be challenging if you're suffering from a broken heart.  But, Pretty - I can help you!  Check out this (FREE!) guide to healing heartache.

The One-Derful Life is all about helping you be happy WHILE you're single.  You may not be happy ABOUT being single, but if you just want some peace and happiness in your life, you're in the right place!

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