The One-Derful Life Holiday Survival Guide - Part 2

The Single Girl’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

I’m not a big fan of the holidays for a lot of reasons. 

For many years I felt the holidays were for couples and families with children and that singles like me were sort of like the Misfit Toys. 

If you have ever felt alone, lonely, let down, forgotten, or disappointed in your singleness during the holidays, this is for you.

Because this is a time of gift giving, I had this wish in my heart that God would look favorably upon me and give me my perfect soul mate.  I tithed, I served, I read my Bible every morning.  I prayed for others, I went to Bible study and prayer meeting.  I celebrated with friends who got engaged and married, and I kept believing it would be my turn eventually.

Here’s the truth: there is no magic formula to unlock God’s timing or His plan for your life.  Being single isn’t punishment for not doing enough for God.

Your obedience to God will not necessarily give you what you want.  Sometimes we treat God like a cosmic vending machine: if I put in the correct amount of money (time, energy, prayer, faith), I’ll get a Boyfriend or a Husband.

We keep thinking if we “faith it” enough, God will send us “our guy.”  It doesn’t work like that.  If it did, all the tacky, dishonest, shifty girls you know would be single and all the Godly, honest ones would be married.  

So, here’s how to make it through the holidays whether or not you meet someone special:

1. Stop watching Christmas love stories on Lifetime or Hallmark channels.  They are not real. They are fiction. They were created to sell you products during the ads. Don’t buy into the commercial message that Christmas is about romance.  Remember: the world’s message about Christmas is to buy stuff.  

2. Remember that 100% of the images we see during the holidays are designed to sell us products and separate us from our money.  Advertisers tell us we should get cars and jewelry and we should have a warm, happy feeling inside. 

The truth is, most people don’t have that experience during the holidays. 

Most of my friends who are married with children also dislike the holidays because of the extra stress, activities, and expenses.  And their husbands don’t even think to buy them something romantic (like cars or jewelry) or even to thank them for slaving away all day on those homemade cookies and ornaments.

3. Your family is going to ask about your love life.  They may even make insensitive comments. 

I suggest a little strategic disinformation here: 2 responses I have used successfully are “I’m dating around right now – just having fun” and “I’ve been so busy with (career, work, home renovations, etc.) that I haven’t had time to even think about it.” 

If they persist, I like to go on the offense – ask them about their marriage and quote the high divorce rate (here’s an interesting fact to have at your fingertips: a new study indicates that 80% of men cheat on their partners) –  maybe it’s mean and un-Christian, but when someone won’t take a hint and is trying to make me feel inferior because I’m single, I like to stand up for myself.

4. Buy yourself a really great Christmas present.  Not a new Swiffer or a cordless drill; get yourself a nice gift you would want from a special gentleman friend: jewelry, massage, facial, whatever.  If you were dating someone, you would buy him a gift, so take that money and buy yourself something.

Help yourself to a FREEBIE: The One-Derful Life Holiday Survival Guide

 Show up fully in your life now. Enjoy where you are now. 

“I can’t be happy if I’m alone,” you say. 

Well, you better learn how to GET HAPPY while you’re single, because God isn’t going to reward your temper tantrum by sending you someone.  Besides, if you’re so unhappy, who’d want to hang out with you anyway?

This is what One-Derful Life is all about: making peace with singleness.  Maybe you're not happy BECAUSE you're single, but you can be happy WHILE you're single.

One more thing - if you're suffering with a broken heart, this will help.