How to Be a Lady - Part 2

Ladies Inspire Others!

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

This is the second part of our Be A Lady series. Click here to read Part 1.

A lady takes care of herself.  Ladies don’t shlump around town in their sweats.  They wouldn’t be caught running out for a quick coffee in their ratty t-shirt and pajama pants. 

I recently saw a photo of a movie star wearing paint-splattered jeans.  And not in an haute-couture kind of paint-splattered style.  They were old, paint-splattered jeans.  Not cute, and not flattering.  Those may be fine for when you’re home (painting), but when you go out, throw on a pair of well-fitting leggings or skinny jeans.

I used to NEVER leave my house in anything lower than a 3-inch heel.  Today, I’d rather wear my cute Vans (hello, leopard print!) or my ballerina flats, or my clean, cute sneakers.  Even if I’m wearing what I’ll wear to my yoga class later, my outfit is clean, cute, and fashionable.

I never used to want to spend money on gym clothes.  What’s the point - you’re just sweating in them, right?

Plus, most of the time I workout at home.  By myself.  Nobody even sees me!

But then I realized that since I workout 6 days a week, and do yoga 5-7 times per week on top of that, I spend a lot of time in gym clothes!  And even if I’m the only person who sees me, I feel better when I look cute in my matching leggings and top.  And sneakers.  And socks.  (I’m a little obsessive.)

It turns out, I’m more motivated to exercise when I’m putting on a nice outfit.  Also, I’m not embarrassed for others to see me in my workout togs.

I fly a lot, and I see a lot of women who are literally wearing pajamas on the plane, or haven’t brushed their hair, or they’ve thrown on any old thing they could find in the name of “being comfortable.”  

The truth is, you get better treatment from others when you put effort into your appearance.

You don’t have to get a professional blowout or apply a full face of makeup to run to the corner store.  But you can brush your hair (and your teeth, please) and wipe the sleepies out of your eyes!

One of the reasons we’ve prioritized comfort in our society is because nearly 2/3 of Americans are overweight or obese.  When you’re in that state, sweats and baggy clothes feel better, but we’re choosing comfort at the expense of respect for ourselves and others.

Amy Schumer posted a photo of herself in hospital maternity panties and an old t-shirt.  Some people congratulated her on “being real,” but many wondered why she couldn’t at least put on a pair of sweatpants.  I mean, with her movie-star income, I think she could afford a decent, post-childbirth maxidress.

The ladies I’ve mentioned take care of themselves.  They exercise, they eat healthfully, and they make an effort to look presentable.  It’s not about being perfect.  Many of these women have “glam squads” and full staffs to help them.  It’s about doing the best you can with what you have.

I don’t wear makeup if I’m going to a cardio class first thing in the morning.  But I do brush my hair, swipe on some lipgloss, and put on a clean outfit.

A lady has personal standards.  While I’ve never been in their homes or offices, I feel confident that Amal Clooney and Queen Letizia are probably have quite organized and tidy spaces.

I’m sure Jackie Kennedy didn’t use an old wallet stuffed with sticky notes and receipts, held together with a rubber band.

I used to have that wallet!  Then, one day, I looked down and asked myself if that was the wallet of a successful, professional lady.  Spoiler alert: nope!

I’m not suggesting you go out and buy a $900 designer wallet (unless you want it and can afford it, in which case, go for it!), but at least keep the one you have neat, tidy, and in good repair.

Clean out your handbag.  Keep your vehicle tidy.  Toss (or donate) clothes that are torn, stained, or that no longer fit.

I recently went through a major overhaul of every drawer, cabinet, and closet.  I eliminated things I don’t need, wear, or love and I reorganized what was left.

I’m also redecorating my office at the university where I teach.  I wanted a new office because I felt I needed more space and wanted a new environment. 

Unfortunately, there were no offices available.  However, by meticulously cleaning out drawers and file cabinets, I found I actually have a LOT of unused space.  And, a completely new color scheme and decor theme has me feeling like it’s a brand new office.

And, that “new” office will set an example for my students about what a professional workspace looks like!

A lady doesn’t attack others.  A lady will defend others, but she rarely attacks.

There was some gossip in the news a while back about a suspected row between Kate Middleton and one of her gal pals, whose husband is a regular guest at Buckingham Palace.  Nothing has been said, leaked, or hinted at by Kate or her camp. 

Royals are expected to act graciously, but Princess Margaret, Queen Elizabeth II’s sister, had a reputation for making mean comments in public (frequently to the press) about people who annoyed her. 

In this day, there’s even more opportunity to publicly eviscerate someone: social media, blog posts and comments, and gossip sites make verbal warfare accessible to the masses.

Many celebrities today use their notoriety to snark at each other or to air out their differences.  That sets an example that causes us to think it’s okay for all of us to weigh in and choose sides.

But, a lady doesn’t use her position to bring someone else down.

This may be a fictionalization, but in “The Crown” (Netflix), Claire Foy’s Queen Elizabeth is hurt by unkind comments made by American First Lady Jackie Kennedy.  When Mrs. Kennedy apologizes, Queen Elizabeth is gracious, but perhaps not entirely soothed.  However, when President Kennedy is assassinated, Queen Elizabeth reaches out to the new widow with kindness and compassion.  She takes the high road.

Today’s reality television shows reward drama and pettiness and encourage backstabbing and betrayal.  But a real lady doesn’t bring someone down - even if “they deserve it.”  She’s not a doormat, she just takes the high road and moves on to better things.

Why does any of this matter?  It matters because a One-Derful Life is based in confidence and happiness.  You can’t be confident when you’re looking over your shoulder for retaliation from someone whose feelings you hurt.  And you won’t be happy when you have low (or nonexistent) standards.

It’s hard to feel confident and happy if you’re struggling with a broken heart. Check out our ABC’s of Healing - this free video will show you how to overcome heartache and get on with your own One-Derful Life!

Question: Do you think being a lady matters?