What to Do When You’re Feeling Sad About Being Single

This post is part of our February series: Loneliness, Fear, and Comparison

I’m part of several Facebook groups for single women. Recently, I read a post from a young woman who is struggling deeply with singleness. She’s tired of going everywhere alone. It feels like everyone around her is coupled. And she dreads the questions from her mother about when she’s going to find someone and settle down.

I think most of us can relate.

Even those of us who have been single for a long time — and who have made peace with it — still have days when sadness creeps in.

I spent many years feeling left out and left behind. And even now, when 95% of the time I genuinely feel peaceful about my life, I still have moments — sometimes hours or even days — when I feel sad. I would still prefer to be married and have a family. I still feel lonely sometimes. And I still grow weary of so much time by myself.

People who don’t know me well sometimes assume I prefer singleness. And while I’ve learned to live peacefully in this season, the truth is: I would still choose a relationship if I could.

I also live far from my family, in a small Southern town where marriage and children are the center of social life. If you’re single without kids, you are often left out of gatherings — and if you’re married without children, you’re quietly expected to explain yourself.

This is real life.

Naming the hurt

Recently, I had a day where I felt deeply sad and lonely. I allowed myself to feel it. I believe in naming what we feel and being honest with God about it.

But I also don’t want to live stuck in sadness. I want peace. I want joy. And over the years, I’ve learned some ways to help my heart move through those heavy days rather than remain there.

First, it helps to understand something important:

Your singleness is not necessarily because there is something wrong with you.

In 2015, journalist Jon Birger wrote an article for The Washington Post explaining that many women aren’t imagining how difficult dating has become — the demographics have genuinely shifted. There are millions of single adults in the U.S., and the older we get, the smaller the pool of commitment-oriented men becomes.

That doesn’t mean you’ll never meet someone.
It doesn’t mean love is impossible.
But it does mean your singleness is not a personal failure.

Sometimes it’s simply the reality of the season and the world we live in.

The illusion of perfect marriages

We are constantly surrounded by images of happy families and smiling couples. But what we see online is not the full story.

A close friend once told me that five minutes before a family photo shoot, she and her husband were in a major argument. Those beautiful smiles? They were for the camera.

Marriage can be wonderful — but it is also difficult. It takes work, sacrifice, forgiveness, and grace. And it comes with no guarantees. People grow. People change. Life happens.

A relationship is not a cure for loneliness.
It is not a shield against hardship.
And it is not a promise of permanent happiness.

What you can control

There are things in life we cannot control:

• whether we will meet someone

• whether that person will choose us

• when love will arrive

But there are things we can control:

• our work

• our health

• our finances

• our emotional well-being

• the life we are building

Just as you choose exercise for physical health and saving for financial peace, you must also choose to discipline your mind when sadness tries to take over.

On hard days, remind yourself:

• I have a place to live

• I have meaningful work

• I have people who care about me

• I have strength and resilience

• I have God walking with me

Not to dismiss your pain — but to anchor your heart in truth.

Choosing a One-Derful Life

It is good and normal to want marriage and family. God designed us for relationship. Wanting love does not make you weak.

But settling for the wrong relationship will never bring peace.

I want a relationship. I would welcome one. But I refuse to settle for someone simply to avoid being alone. That choice allows me to live not as a victim of my singleness, but as a woman building a meaningful life.

I don’t rejoice in being single.

But I can honestly say I live a One-Derful Life — not because I am single, but while I am single.

I have made peace with the possibility that this season may not change. And while that is not my preference, I have decided that I will still live fully, love deeply, and enjoy the life God has given me.

A final word

If today is one of those heavy days, I want you to know:

You are not broken.
You are not forgotten.
And your life is not on hold.

You are allowed to build a beautiful life right now.  A One-Derful Life.

Free Teaching: 

If loneliness is heavy in your heart — especially in a season of unwanted singleness — I created a calm, faith-centered teaching for you.

👉 Get “Overcoming Loneliness” here: 

🔗 Overcoming Loneliness