Understanding the Ambiguous Loss of Singleness

This post is part of our February series: Loneliness, Fear, and Comparison

My dad shared an article with me from Pepperdine Magazine, the alumni publication from Pepperdine University.

In the article, Kelly Haer — a licensed marriage and family therapist and director of the Relationship IQ program at the Pepperdine Boone Center for the Family — describes one of the unique emotional challenges many singles face: what she calls ambiguous loss.

Ambiguous loss is the grief that comes from longing for a spouse you don’t have — while still hoping one day you will.

It is grief without a funeral.
Loss without a moment of closure.
Heartache without a clear ending.

A grief few people recognize

When a married person loses a spouse through death or divorce, their grief is visible and widely understood.

But the grief of singleness is quieter.

It is the grief of not having found the relationship you hoped for.
The grief of watching time pass.
T...