Why You Don’t Have to Compete to Be Chosen
By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

I once heard Steve Harvey tell a woman:

“Quit acting like he’s the prize. You’re the prize.”

That really stayed with me.

She was trying to figure out how to get a man to want her — how to say the right things, do the right things, be the kind of woman he would choose.

And his response flipped the entire dynamic.

When You Think He’s the Prize

Many women — especially successful, single women — quietly believe that finding a good man is the goal.

We talk about friends who are “lucky” to have found someone great.

We start to feel like we need to position ourselves well… present ourselves well… compete, just a little, for attention.

And without even realizing it, we shift into a mindset where:

He is the prize.
And we are trying to be chosen.

That mindset leads to compromise.

We tolerate inconsistency.
We overlook disrespect.
We accept less than what we actually want.

Not because we don’t know better — bu...